Handfuls of Jewels

I’m glad your inner nature’s way is working for you

But don’t try to tell me it’s best for me too

There’s nothing my body needs that isn’t found in yours

It’s nature’s way

He says I’m not what they’re hiring right now

Perhaps I should try to use my “natural skills”

The pulse in his throat kicking like a baby tambourine

He’s on the menu

If I was in heaven and it was

The endless light where the screams don’t echo

Would their welcome say I had to endure it

I wonder if I could

Or if I’d come back here for more

Heaven’s a cruel place

I know I’ll never have the scars that you bear

But don’t try to tell me I don’t know what pain is

For I have watched you cut yourself up each day

One of us is bleeding

There’s a rose in my heart where my love has grown

Its thorns cut the veins in my arms and my legs

I leave bloody handprints where I lean against the wall

It’s more than worth it

But if I was in heaven and it was

The endless light where the screams don’t echo

Would their welcome say I had to endure it

I wonder if I could

Or if I’d come back here for more

Heaven’s a cruel place

The years run past like the snow on a river

My girls become women and my friends become gray

The waters turn cold and the eggshell moonlight

Washes me clean from the poison and pain

The years run past like the stars on the water

With ebon lotus making crystalline waves

The years are uncut gemstones of shadow

Tumbled and polished by memory saved

The years flow past like Poseidon’s daughters

Laughing and lovely but impossible to hold



And like handfuls of jewels I let them go

But if I was in heaven and it was

The endless light where the screams don’t echo

Would their welcome say I had to endure it

I wonder if I could

Or if I’d come back here for more



Heaven’s a cruel place